Broken Hearted over Broken Relationships

I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve had someone sitting in my office near tears saying something like, “I feel like I’m in the middle of it. I love them both and it kills me to see them fighting. I don’t know why they can’t just bury the hatchet and get along."

Kids say that about parents. Women say it about sisters. Guys say it about friends. You probably have people in your life that have it in for each other and you care about both. Or maybe you are one of those who has animosity towards someone and you are dragging others into the grudge.

I read Philippians 3-4 this morning and we can see that life wasn’t that different for people in the first century. They allowed silly disagreements to turn into angry disputes. It hurt those who were fighting along with everyone around them.

It mattered enough to Paul that he called a couple of quarreling women out publicly and told them to start getting along. Then he asked a mutual friend to intervene and help them to get back on the same page. He asked the church to become peacemakers. They were not to just turn a blind ear to their gossiping about each other, but to also confront them over it as sin.

Maybe if we all took responsibility for unity in our families, workplaces, and churches, and had the courage to speak up to those who engage in petty disputes and/or create division among others, that it wouldn’t be so much of a problem. What if we were so eager for unity (see Ephesians 4:3) that we pursued it and defended against those who endanger it? What if we all took responsibility for unity?

Remember Jesus’ words, “Blessed are the peacemakers.” To be a peacemaker means intervening where peace is lacking. How do you actually do that?

• Pursue peace yourself, wherever you sense someone has something against you.
• You be an example of perpetual forgiveness. 
• Make it clear that you do not approve of and will not listen to gossip. Shut it down!
• If you have mutual family members or friends who are at war, have the courage to speak up and let them know that their divisiveness is hurtful to everyone and if they are professing Christians, remind them that their disunity is dishonoring to our Lord.
• Stay out of the fight. Do NOT take sides. You don't need to get involved in the details, they will always be skewed by whoever is talking to you.
• Emphasize love and forgiveness (Ephesians 4:30-31) and remind others of the example of Jesus (Philippians 2:1-8).

Jesus did tell us that it is inevitable for people to be offended. But then he said, “Woe to those who cause the offense.” And that could mean the person who is offending or the person who is offended.

Whenever people are together, there will be disagreements and conflict. But as followers of Christ, we are to be examples of how conflicts can be handled in a godly manner, pursuing unconditional love and kindness, always speaking with grace, ready to forgive, and eager for unity.