What Did You Say?

I recently had a conversation with someone who was really pumped about something. A day later, the excitement had dissipated. He had shared his enthusiasm with another person, who with a few comments and questions took the wind out of his sail.When you open your mouth, why do you speak?The Apostle Paul told us that everything should glorify God and bless others. Every word we speak, even criticisms, should be gifts that uplift and encourage (Ephesians 4:29). Jesus’ half brother James warned us of the power of the tongue, that with our words we have the power to build up or tear down.“What is the intent of your words?” I recently posed that question and the answer I received was, “I had no intention.” But that just cannot be true. There is a subtle goal behind everything we do and say, and it's very important that we continually do self-analysis of those goals. If our goal is not to help, encourage, lift up or bless, our sin nature will come through and even though it may be muted, our words wind up being spent to benefit ourselves. And when selfishness, even in its most subtle forms is at the root, waste at best, or damage and discouragement at worst, are the ultimate results.I look back on my early Christian life and can point to a few words spoken by a few people, that are still burned in my memory, that encouraged and prompted me to pursue ministry. Those same few people could have shaped their words with me in a slightly different way with dramatically different results. But because they were motivated to encourage and edify, my life was nudged in a new and positive direction. I can honestly trace some of the best things in my life today back to pivotal conversations with encouraging people.Here are some good questions to ask yourself when speaking:• “Why does God have me in this conversation?" "What does he want accomplished?"• "How can I show grace and be a blessing?"• "What truths should I tell?” (We should always be truthful, but not every truth needs to be told.)• "What beneficial questions can I ask?"• "Have I earned the right to correct?" (You do that by first being a blessing and gaining trust. If you have not gained this person’s trust, and have not been a blessing, you have no business correcting.)• "What is motivating me to say what I am saying?"• "What is the listener hearing?"  "How will they leave this conversation?"We only get so many opportunities to share our words. Too many of us squander occasions to be an honest inspiration in others’ lives by spending our words on things that either have little or no merit, or discourage our listeners.Let’s intentionally change the way we talk, even if it's just this next week, to help form a new habit. And every time you open your mouth, pause and consider, “Why am I saying this and what will be the effect?"