It Doesn't Have To Be Intentional To Hurt

Brock was our easiest as a teenager. He has a good heart and loves his parents and is good to his siblings.But as a little tyke, he was more than a handful! He was into everything, broke all of his toys and a lot of things around the house. He never stopped moving and we had to keep a constant eye on him. On the rare occasion that he napped, Linda would often quip, “Don’t worry, he’s just recharging.”When he was three or so, he was buckled into his car seat next to his sister. All of a sudden we heard this blood-curdling scream from Erica and Brock’s little boy voice, “Lolly Eeah! Lolly Eeah!” (Translated: “Sorry Erica.”)We don’t know how he did it, but somehow, while still buckled in, he opened the back seat trap door that led to the trunk, pulled the jumper cables into the back seat, and attached one end to Erica’s arm. Hence, the blood-curdling scream.It wasn’t malicious. He wasn’t trying to hurt her. But it wasn’t thought through entirely well, either. The poor girl had a jumper cable scar on her arm until she was 15.You don’t have to be malicious to hurt other people. But you do have to think carefully about your words and actions to avoid it. Much of the time, we hurt because of carelessness or thoughtlessness. It may not be an intentional injury, but for the injured party, it hurts nonetheless.That’s why our words need to be chosen carefully, and our actions and choices must be made with others in mind. If we live without thinking, everyone around us winds up being the recipient of jumper cable like incidents, while we just keep defending ourselves claiming that we meant no ill-will. That’s not enough. We need to intentionally do good, encourage one another, and think about how our words and actions affect others before we do and say the things we do. Kindness is not something that just happens. It’s something we have to do on purpose.With the start of school around the corner, this will be a great conversation to have with your kids. Undoubtedly, some of you parents will be comforting hurting hearts over careless things said to them. But when our kids had their feelings hurt, we would say, “We feel bad for you, but are glad you are the one who was hurt instead of the one hurting others.”This next week, have that conversation…and then repeat it the morning of their first day…and a week or so after. It’s not enough to avoid intentionally hurting others. We have to intentionally be good and kind to others. This is best made a habit when they are young.“Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them” (Ephesians 4:29 NLT).