Overcoming Loneliness

If you are lonely, many Bible characters could identify with you. Even Jesus knew the pain of feeling all alone in the world.

You might not be able to change some of the circumstances that have led to this, but you don’t have to feel this way. There are some things that you can do. But that’s the key…there are some things you have to do.

• Start by viewing your situation differently. There are a lot of people who crave the kind of solitude that you have grown accustomed to. And being free from responsibilities that go along with relationships, you have an opportunity to accomplish some really good things. So your first step in overcoming loneliness is to see the opportunity in your situation. If you don’t start with this change in thinking, you won’t make the other necessary steps.
• Turn your situation over to God. Talk to him about the feelings you are struggling with, but tell him that you are willing to go through whatever he has for you. Then ask him for wisdom and direction.
• Use your time wisely. You might think you have too much time on your hands, but whatever time you have, it will be gone. Wasting time is depressing. So don’t waste it by wallowing in your loneliness. Turn the TV off and be careful not to use it as a substitute for relationships. Instead, play music and become a reader.
• Find a cause and pour yourself into it. It might be a needed area of ministry at church. It could be volunteering at a shelter, becoming a companion for elderly people or working with abandoned kids at a children’s hospital (there are a lot of them). Don’t see this as a way to make friends. See it as a valuable use of time and energy that you have because you don’t have relationship demands. If you keep that perspective, friendships will start coming to you.
• Be others-oriented. Forget about your feelings of loneliness and replace it with a focus on the needs of others. Don’t sit and wait for people to come to you. There are lots of hurting people around you who could use support.
• How you conduct yourself with others is huge. See your interactions as opportunities to be a blessing, rather than a way of overcoming your own loneliness. If you appear needy or desperate for friends, people will run. If you focus on yourself or talk about your loneliness or unhappiness, it’ll probably be a one-time conversation. Instead, encourage them, smile, be uplifting. See your smile as something to give others. Ask questions and be interested in their lives, rather than trying to get them interested in yours. People want to spend time with those who care about them and are uplifting to be around. All of this comes down to being others-oriented rather than self-focused. When you love other people, you focus on them and their needs.

God cares about you and he knows. He knows how you are feeling, he knows your situation, and he knows the best way to fix your problems. Use wisdom to make the best of your situation. But more importantly, look to him for your fulfillment and trust him completely no matter what.