When The Holidays Are Hard

I feel awful for our Care Pastor, Joel Bradshaw. His dad had diabetes related foot surgery last week, and then he had a heart attack in recovery, and died. His funeral was the day before Thanksgiving. He was a wonderful man, devoted to God and his family. Can you imagine being them on Thanksgiving?I can. My dad passed away the day before Thanksgiving years ago. He was getting ready to come to our house for the long weekend, as we were hosting for my family. It was a Thanksgiving I’ll never forget, and it’s on my mind every Thanksgiving since.A family in our church just lost their son this fall. He was in his 20's. There will be an empty place at their table, as well.This is true for many of you. You lost loved ones this year. Or maybe in years past. But there’s still a hole when memories flood back at family gatherings. And once again, you miss them.A friend of mine helped me in my grief when he said, “Scott, I envy you in a way. Be grateful that you are grieving. It means you had a close relationship, one worth missing. For me, I’m afraid it will be more of a relief.” Here’s how to be grateful for your grief:

• Embrace the memories. Bring out some pictures to remind you. You loved them for a reason. Welcome the memories.
• Talk about them. Bring up your memories with other family at your gatherings. “Remember when…” can be so refreshing. Laugh and tell stories.
• Learn from them. There were things about their lives that made them special. It’s why the memories keep revisiting. Learn from their positive example, and even their negative. Don’t waste the memories. Tell some others what you’ve learned from that loved one.
• Trust God. Even when we don’t know the spiritual condition of our loved one, we can be assured that God loved them more than us. Trust him and his care, even in a situation you don’t understand.

Holidays are special. Particularly where there’s family gatherings involved. But with the upside, comes the downside. We miss those who have gone on before us. Don’t let that spoil your holiday. Let it enhance it!