Fractured Relationships

I’ve heard it many times, “I feel like I’m in the middle of it. I love them both and it kills me to see them fighting.”

Kids say that about parents. Women say it about sisters. Guys say it about friends. You probably have people in your life that have it in for each other and you care about both. Or maybe you are one of those who has animosity towards someone and you are dragging others into the grudge.

Relational squabbles mattered enough to the Apostle Paul that he called a couple of quarreling women out publicly (Philippians 4:2) and told them to knock it off and get along. Then he asked a mutual friend to intervene and he reminded the whole church to be peacemakers. They were not to just turn a blind ear to their gossiping about each other, but to also confront them over it as sin.

Maybe if we all took responsibility for unity in our families, workplaces, and churches, and had the courage to speak up to those who engage in petty disputes, that it wouldn’t be such a problem. What if we were so eager for unity (see Ephesians 4:3) that we pursued it and defended against those who endanger it? What if we all took responsibility for unity?

Remember Jesus’ words, “Blessed are the peacemakers.” To be a peacemaker means intervening where peace is lacking. How do you actually do that?

• Pursue peace yourself, wherever you sense someone has something against you.
• Be an example of perpetual forgiveness.
• Make it clear that you do not approve of and will not listen to gossip. Shut it down!
• If you have mutual family members or friends who are at war, have the courage to speak up and let them know that their divisiveness is hurtful to everyone and if they are professing Christians, remind them that their disunity is dishonoring to our Lord.
• Stay out of the fight. Do NOT take sides. You don’t need to get involved in the details, they will always be skewed by whoever is talking to you.
• Emphasize love and forgiveness (Ephesians 4:30-31) and remind others of the example of Jesus (Philippians 2:1-8).

Whenever people are together, there will be disagreements and conflict. But as followers of Jesus, we are to be examples of how conflicts can be handled in a godly manner, pursuing unconditional love and kindness, always speaking with grace, ready to forgive, and eager for unity.