Quick to Quarrel
If you use The Bridge Bible reading plan, as I do, you read Proverbs 20:3 today, “It is to one’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel” (NIV). I thought, how rare this is for people in general, and even Christians in particular. We are so quick to argue, even to insert ourselves into other people’s arguments. There is a way of thinking out there that implies not doing so is being a coward. “You’ve got to stand up for yourself!” “Stand up for what you believe in!”And while I believe that followers of Jesus ought to be resolute when it comes to his teachings, what's right and wrong, and that we shouldn’t compromise with sin; those statements usually have more to do with selfishness, self-righteousness, and just “self” in general, than courage. Using a good thing like courage is an easy escape from our culpability of sin.Scripture teaches a different way. The wisdom offered by the author above, says that it’s an honor to avoid strife, and that it is fools who are quick to quarrel.So then, what makes us eager to argue our opinions? How do we get into these verbal altercations?If we are to be totally honest, we’d have to admit that most of our squabbles stem from our pride. Our pride gets injured when someone says something we don’t like. Or someone doesn't view our opinion with favor. And we get offended.Again, if you use The Bridge Bible reading plan, you may remember Proverbs 19:11 from Thursday’s reading, “A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense” (NIV). We think we have a right to be offended. But that’s because our pride is in the way. I like what Solomon also said in Ecclesiastes 7:21-22, “Do not take to heart all the things that people say, lest you hear your servant cursing you. Your heart knows that many times you yourself have cursed others” (ESV). He says, “While you may get all bent out of shape when you think someone has offended you, if you are honest, you’d have to admit you’ve done the same to others.” We get offended when people treat us the way we’ve treated others. But how dare they! That’s our pride. And that’s why Paul wrote to Timothy, “The Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone.” Yes, everyone. Even those who have sinned against us. Even your spouse when they repeatedly do things that annoy you. Yes, everyone, Paul told Timothy.There are other reasons we quarrel: unmet expectations, impatience, the need to be right, or even heard. But again, if we look at the heart of these things, in essence it's self, pride, and sin. And the only way out is confession, intentional humility, and as Christ did, putting others before self.I love what Paul said in 2 Corinthians 12:10, “For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (ESV).You don’t have to win those arguments. When you think you have won, you’ve only shown yourself to be the fool (Prov. 20:3). When you are humble and willing to give way to others, you actually show yourself to have the strength of Jesus (Phil. 2:5-8).