Quick to Quarrel
“It is to one’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel” (Proverbs 20:3 NIV).
Too many of us do not think this way. Instead, we are so quick to argue, and to even insert ourselves into other people’s arguments.
Scripture teaches a different way. The wisdom offered in the proverb above says that it’s honorable to avoid strife and that it is fools who are quick to quarrel.
If we are to be totally honest, we’d have to admit that most of our squabbles stem from our pride. Our pride gets injured when someone says something we don’t like.
Proverbs 19:11 offers further insight, “A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense” (NIV).
We think we have a right to be offended. But that’s because our pride is in the way. I like what Solomon said in Ecclesiastes 7:21-22, “Do not take to heart all the things that people say, lest you hear your servant cursing you. Your heart knows that many times you yourself have cursed others” (ESV). He is saying, “While you may get all bent out of shape when you think someone has offended you, if you are really honest, you’d have to admit you’ve done the same to others.” We get offended when people treat us the way we’ve treated others. But how dare they!
That’s our pride. And that’s why Paul wrote to Timothy, “The Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone” (2 Timothy 2:24).
Yes, everyone. Even those who have sinned against us. Even your spouse when they repeatedly do things that annoy you. Yes, everyone…Paul told Timothy, “Be kind to everyone.”
There are other reasons we quarrel: unmet expectations, impatience, the need to be right or to be heard. But again, if we look at the heart of these things it’s self, pride, and sin, in essence. And the only way out is through confession, intentional humility, and as Christ did, putting others before self.
I love what Paul said in 2 Corinthians 12:10, “For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (ESV).
You don’t have to win those arguments. When you think you have won, you’ve only shown yourself to be the fool (Prov. 20:3). When you are humble and willing to give way to others, you actually show yourself to have the strength of Jesus (Phil. 2:5-8).