Twenty-nine years is a long time for anything. It’s a long time to hold the same job. It’s a long time to live in the same house. It’s a really long time to be married to the same person.
I can’t believe that Linda has been able to stay married to me for twenty-nine years. But I’m really glad she has!
Neither of us remember a lot about our wedding. The ceremony and celebration wasn’t that
big of a deal to us. I think that couples today make way too much out the wedding day than what is healthy. For us, we were focused on the marriage, not so much the wedding. And that’s not just me talking, that was Linda’s approach.
I think a lot of young couples are more in love with the idea of being in love, than they are focused on what it means to selflessly love another person, and unite with that person as a life’s partner. I get concerned when the excitement of a wedding has to do with the ceremony, celebration, dresses, tuxes, meal, deejay and dance, than the marriage itself. And now with so many couples living together and having sex with multiple partners before that, the only things left that are special about weddings are those shallow and expensive trappings.
If you are young and not yet married, please listen to this little bit of advice on values: Make your preparations about your marriage, not so much about your wedding. I miss the days when the ceremony meant something and the reception was a simple and inexpensive send-off of good wishes for the couple.
We started off very simple. We had very little money, a tiny basement efficiency apartment, a little silver Chevette, and a lot of crock pots we received for wedding gifts. I was still in seminary and kept working a couple of jobs.
Looking back, we didn’t know each other very well. We had virtually no premarriage counseling (a mistake on the part of our pastors). Both of us had unrealistic expectations of each other. We were so very different in personality and interests that e-harmony or match.com would never have put us together.
But the few things we had going for us overwhelmed the strikes against us. We were absolutely committed to spending our lives learning to love each other. We had shared moral and spiritual values. And both of us had a desire to please God in our marriage more than each other.
And now, twenty-nine years later, I’d rather spend the day alone with Linda than anyone else on the planet. We do love each other and always have. But maybe more important than that, when it comes to longevity in a relationship, we’ve grown to LIKE each other!
So happy anniversary today, my dear Lindsey!