Needing a Change?

I get it. You need a change of scenery. Maybe a move across town…or better yet…to a different state. Maybe it’s time for a job change. You just know that it’s time for change.

A friend of mine felt that urge. Life seemed like it had hit the doldrums and he wanted a change of scenery for himself and his family. He put together his resume and got a job offer in another state, a place he thought he’d rather live. So he and his wife quit their jobs, pulled their kids out of school, said good-by to nearby family and friends, and moved. It was a radical change for all of them. At first, it felt fresh and new. Time to create new habits, make new friends, find new fun activities.

But years later I asked him how the move was. He said something like, “At first, we all thought it was great. But now, the every day doldrums of life are exactly as they were when we lived at our last place. But now we don’t have family nearby like we did before. Moving away is fun at first. But life settles in at the new place, just like it did at the old.” He then told me that he had his resume together, again. I reminded of Paul’s words, “I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content” (Philippians 4:11 NKJV).

I’ve seen and heard similar situations and stories from other friends and family members. Sadly, in some case, it meant changing a spouse, or leaving a great job for one with promise that never became what they thought it would. For some of them, they repeated the process every time they got bored. It’s why second marriages fail at a much higher rate than first marriages, and third marriages fail even more. It’s not until we can settle in and learn to enjoy even the tedium of life, relationships, work, which only comes through active and daily gratitude, when fulfillment and deep-seated joy take over.

Maybe you do need a change. But it’s probably a change in outlook and perspective that will help you more than any external change of circumstances. When you can learn to appreciate all the little blessings and spend time daily expressing gratitude to God for his goodness, that you begin to enjoy where you are, what you have, and who you are with. Or in the words of the great theologian, Cheryl Crow, “It’s not having what you want; it’s wanting what you've got.”