My Thoughts On Gay Marriage
When my kids were little, we had specific rules that were for our family. Our kids were not allowed to go to R rated movies. When my kids would ask if they could go to a movie we did not approve of, we would tell them, “No.” But we did not tell their friends that they could not go, and we did not pass judgement on those parents who let their kids go. Our rules were for our family. We could tell our kids what to do, but we did not tell the neighbor’s kids what to do.Whatever your view is of gay marriage, I hope you agree that while Christians should be expected to live like Christians, ONLY Christians should be expected to live like Christians. Christians should not expect non-Christians to embrace their values. God’s moral law is for God’s people and God’s people have no right to impose those instructions on others. Those of us who are committed to the teachings of our Bible have obligations that others do not have. Christian values are for Christians and Christians have no right to require non-Christians to abide by those values.If you are a follower of Jesus, you have already made the commitment to follow him. If you profess the Bible to be your guide and authority in life, you have an obligation to adopt the values that are taught in it, and to abide by the instructions that God gives his followers in His Word. But you do not have the right to judge or condemn others who have never made that profession. God’s laws are for his people, not for those who do not claim to be his people.One of our Christian heroes and Biblical authors made this truth abundantly clear, “What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? God will judge those outside” (I Corinthians 5:12-13 NIV). As Christians, do we believe that? Or do we think it is our business to usurp God’s exclusive right to judge what non-Christians do?But by the same token, those of us who have made the commitment to follow Jesus, also have an obligation to embrace and adopt the values he has given to us in the Bible, regarding all of life, including sexual morals and practices. So, for those of us who are Christians, who claim to believe that the Bible is God’s Word and that it is our guide and authority in life, our own behavior regarding this is pretty straightforward. Christians are not to engage in homosexual sex. I think the litany of Scriptures that bear this out need not be repeated here, but that principle is found through the Old and New Testaments. Also, for those of us who believe that the Bible gives us the foundation for marriage, as Christians, we would only embrace marriage as a union between a man and a woman because that is clearly how Jesus defined it. As Bible-believing Christians, we made the commitment to adopt Biblical values for life and for all our relationships, when we joined his family (that’s what repentance is…a rejection of the old way of thinking and behaving and embracing whatever it is that God asks of us). But again, that’s for us…for his family. It’s not something we have a right to expect people in the world to agree with us on.Now I do believe that God’s principles for life are beneficial for everyone who practice them, even non-believers. God's instructions are for our good, to benefit us. So even when a non-Christian business person practices Biblical principles in business, they are blessed. And when non-Christians live by God’s instructions for relationships, marriage and sex in particular, they are better off in the long run. So it’s good for us to offer God’s principles to people in a caring way to bless them. But it’s never right for us to condemn them for rejecting those principles. Only God has the right to make those kinds of judgements.Sadly, over this last week, a wider wedge has been driven between Bible-believing Christians and the gay community, largely because of the angry and judgmental statements that some Christians have posted on social media. Jesus sent us to reach this lost world with the Gospel. That’s the Christian mission. When you think about it, judging people is a terrible evangelism strategy. People will not flock to our churches to be judged. But they will flock to us to be loved.Instead, it’s time for Christians to quietly and genuinely model Christian marriages and relationships. Some who are reading this are all amped up about the Supreme Court ruling, yet have horrible relationships with their spouses. If you believe in Biblical marriage, then make your marriage an example! Love your wife like Christ loved the church! Show godly and Christ-honoring respect for your husband! Make your marriage a shining example of Christian love and grace! That will do more for the Gospel than any personal or political crusade you may embark on. If in the church this world could see lifelong marriages by people who treat one another with unconditional grace, love and forgiveness, we will become the resource they turn to in order to find out how to make relationships flourish…and then have huge opportunity to reach them with the Gospel.So let’s get busy sharing Christ, and being examples in our marriages, relationships, and morals. Let’s love people unconditionally, especially those with whom we disagree. Maintaining that mindset may be just what it takes to give us urgency for the primary need of our culture: Jesus.