What Are You Dreading?

Thursday was a good day. Junior hosted a one day get-away with our Bridge teachers for a mini-retreat, to build camaraderie, talk ministry philosophy, and go over Bridge teaching parameters. We had breakfast in a small town diner, went kayaking, cooked brats and burgers over an open fire, and did a lot of talking.

But from the moment we brought up kayaking, one of our teaching team members began to exhibit a lot of anxiety. James was born and raised in Nigeria and has lived on Chicago’s South Side for the last several years. He has never been in the water to swim or float on a boat. Never. In Nigeria, people who lived in the city feared any kind of wilderness. "There were very dangerous wild animals out there,” said James, “So I’m an avid indoorsman!” He thought we were kidding about the kayaking. When he found out we were serious, he declined. But we told him it wasn’t optional…it was part of the retreat. His demeanor changed. There was some nervous humor, but for the most part, you could tell that he was contemplating his own death.

Bear in mind, we are talking about kayaking the Kishwaukee River, a slow and lazy shallow Illinois River, where anytime you think you might be in trouble, you can just stand up, and the water will barely cover your knees. We knew that. But I think James had visions of class 4 rapids, like the Colorado River. It didn’t help that the kayak inlet is located next to a lonely rural cemetery, and Junior remarked, “James, if anything goes wrong, we won’t have far to go to bury you.” 

But he did it. He got in the kayak and surrounded by Junior, Jordan, Juan, and me, he headed down the river in a small boat, for the first time in his life. The water was so low that it actually was a bit of a challenge. There were a number of trees that were down and laying across the river that we had to navigate through. James learned to control his direction and speed with nothing but a paddle, and he made it through every obstacle. At about half way, we had to get out of the kayaks due to a very shallow spot, and we stood on a little island and talked for a bit. James said, “This is therapeutic. I can’t believe I’m doing this, but I feel great! I needed to.” When we finished the trek and sat around a campfire at the end, he was a different man. He was happy, confident, and full of a healthy pride. “I faced my fear and it was the best thing for me, today."

There’s something you’ve been dreading. It’s a tough conversation. It’s a difficult project you’ve put off starting. It’s on your mind and it’s weighing you down. But that’s a terrible way to live. It’s time to get at it.

Just get in the kayak, shove off, and start paddling.