When The Holidays Are Hard
I can hear Andy Williams’ voice from childhood, “It’s the most wonderful time of the year.” It was that for me. It was the one time of the year when our whole family would be together (until my teen years), and my parents got along. So I associated Christmas with happiness.
But later, when I was in college and didn’t have a home for Christmas, I was one of just a few in an empty dorm. I took work shifts as a security guard on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. While doing my rounds late Christmas Eve, I saw parents creeping down their stairways with arms full of wrapped gifts to put under the tree for the morning. It warmed my heart, but it also flooded my soul with loneliness. I’d go back to an empty cold dorm that night, then return to work Christmas morning. Christmas lunch was in a paper bag. I was invited to a local friend’s home for dinner, but even doing that felt lonely.
It is a wonderful holiday. I love the music, family and friends gatherings, church services, “Merry Christmas” greetings, and even the shopping. But for some, this time of year is really hard for many reasons.
Loss of a loved one – You lost a close family member or friend who you miss dearly. Or you lost a close loved one at this time of year in the past, and the holiday brings back the memory.
Break-up – You thought (s)he was the one! You remember your gift exchange last year. Or the break-up was recent and you still have the gift you bought and planned to give. What “might have been” is hard not to dwell on.
Divorce – This is like a combination of the above two. And now there’s the complicated kids exchange and gift competitions. Even tough marriages have good memories of past holidays, but now those memories cause more pain than fondness.
Strained family – Extended family relations can be tough. Christmas often forces us to be with relatives we’d rather not have to spend time with. So instead of looking forward to Grandma’s house, you dread it.
Loneliness – So many are lonely over the holidays. Widows and widowers, singles, and many others. Some of you reading this know that this will be another year of looking out the window to the cold outside, trying to occupy yourself with a book or Christmas specials on TV.
Maybe the best reminder for any of us who struggle this time of year is that Christmas began that way. We have a God who really does understand. Think of the Father in Heaven now estranged from His Son, who said His goodbye to Him in the incarnation. Think of Joseph and Mary in a strange place, facing cold and dirty surroundings with a new baby. And think of that baby, who left everything to come here for us.
Experiencing difficulty this holiday could be the best way to appreciate what Christmas really is.